Jul 29, 2024

 The trip to the USA went quite smoothly, it must be said. I am always on tenterhooks when travelling to such places with the family. This time, right off the bat I was worried that P’s new UAE visa might not arrive before she left- or in any case, even if it did arrive, it would not be enough time to receive the physical Emirates ID before departing. In the end, the electronic version came through and it was enough to let her board the plane for New York and also the flight back to Dubai. The Indian Passport, while offering us a chance at professing a faux-Patriotism- for what that was worth, is always an inconvenience when you want to travel internationally. Between the visa application process, and depositing your passport and so on, your travel plan has to be micro-managed in advance to a razor-sharp level of detail. This is a job an a half- and people don’t realise how much time and energy goes into it. However, from my personal standpoint, I am making some progress on the Visa front. I have 5 yr visas for EU and Canada, 10 yrs for the USA and in the process of applying for a 10 year UK visa as well. With those under the pocket, you may think I can rest easy. Not really- what if I need to travel to China or Korea? It is that visa application process all over again. I think we all have to accept certain micro-destinies that are allocated to us by what seems like a divine ordainment. My closest friend has one. He is forever in liaison with the most unstable of females. He has been divorced twice but even his current partner, while not yet a wife, has traits similar to his previous partners. It is like he is a magnet for the volatile and high-maintenance lady. I told him that he was destined to be this person- and he has accepted it. I have many micro-destinies myself, and one of them is that I shall forever be applying for Visas till my dying day. I have put myself in a very international eco-system, but with an Indian passport. This is uniquely me and everyone else I know that is in a similar predicament usually has a stronger passport. As I was traversing my career through various choices, I did not give much importance to the aspect of citizenship. Only time will tell if this was wise- but in any case,  it is too late now to reverse this. There is a part of me that thinks that the Indian Passport is not all that bad- given the increasing stature of India in the world. The idea that one will somehow be held back because of the passport seems rather retrograde in view of the level of modernity that we seem to inhabit. But it is impossible to predict the world any more- with the speed of technological progress reaching escape velocity, one can model the future far less. As a parent, I sometimes wonder what it will be like for our kids as they enter the working world. We had it really easy- I can never quite finish counting my blessings on this subject. I went through undergraduate college and post-graduate college in the USA all essentially without paying a dime. I got employment even before I graduated in the USA and began to earn in US dollars. Furthermore, I ended up living in a part of the country that was extremely low-cost to live. So I lived well. I bought a 2 storey house at the age of 28- not anything that was explainable to folks back in India. As time passed I sold it, and later realised that what I had paid for it could scarcely buy a decent automobile any more. However, the return on invested money in my education was close to infinity. Later I paid for an MBA- a hefty sum it had been- and yet I found a summer internship in Singapore followed eventually by gainful employment – all of which meant that I broke even on my investment within a year. Thereafter, I was in the money as I drew a higher salary than my job prior to my MBA. It is easy to ignore all this, until you realise that none of this was a given. And none of this had anything to do with me. I was plain lucky. Just like I was plain unlucky that I had to live with applying for visas all my life. As we all know, the race is long and good luck does not last forever. So even if things do not go that well, it has to be taken in context.

We caught up with my close friend in New Jersey- the same chap with the volatile partner syndrome. He had organised a music jam at another college mate’s basement ( New Jersey is chock-full of folks from my college who had settled there). I went alone, as I did not wish to bore the family, and I had a good time. I performed some songs and the balance of musicians including my friend ( who aside from suffering from volatile partner syndrome also suffers from brilliant bassist syndrome) were such a wonderful support that I actually felt like a frontman- an experience quite alien to me. However, in recent times, ever since I started playing guitar, I have been dabbling at it – and if I may say so myself, I am getting better day by day. Now, even in house parties in Dubai I get asked to perform ( sing and play)- and I do. So I am slowly racking up experience in frontman behaviour. It is a lot more than just playing and singing. One has to read the room, and know when to stop. Also, one has to have something for everyone so the repertiore needs to be broad. All of this is new territory for me and I am training myself to broaden my offering, while also trying to improve the quality of the offering. Ultimately, I will get these chances until someone better comes along- that is the meaning of life.

 

I spent some quality time in Boston, something I had not done earlier- even though I had spent two years in the Boston Area 2 decades ago. At the time, I had no money and limited mobility. This time I did better, but was still quite surprised to notice how expensive the area is. However, the city is still very classy- and after visiting New Jersey it felt like a city that was not in a state of permanent decay- from what little I saw of the USA, there are not that many cities that could claim this. And yet, life in the US was quite acceptable. Many had the joys of copious amounts of personal space in their massive homes. I was particularly envious of folks that had finished basements. The idea that you could set up a music studio and live performance area in your own home was just too much to ignore. Elsewhere, we had to book studios and practice and then hire auditoriums to perform. The inertia around that was two fold- both effort wise and financially. It was a lot easier for musicians to express themselves in the US. Aside of the big homes, life was still generally good from a community perspective- atleast in areas like New Jersey which have such alrge populations of people from India. I think Indian origin folks who live in more far flung parts may have to deal with some isolation and whatever attendant issues that stem from that. On the other hand, they don’t have to fret as much about college education for their kids- they will be eligible for in-state tuition and also fairly easy employment as they have the permit to work. So on balance, I think folks that chose to stay back and settle did well. Some do complain that they have to do all the chores themselves- unlike us in other expat havens like Dubai and singapore, where domestic help is affordable. But I always maintain, what matters is what everyone around you is doing. In the USA everyone cleans the dishes, so it is not an issue. In Singapore, most everyone lives in smallish apartments , so that’s not an issue either. Our needs and wants are 20% absolute and 80% shaped by our peers. If we are able to break away from this statistic, then I would say we have arrived in life.